REALIGNING...AGAIN

I work at a church. A good church, working hard, struggling a little bit to find its identity...you know the drill.

Last week, we were hit by a Phantom Gifter.

The Phantom Gifter hit Monday or Tuesday, leaving cool little magnets for all the women on staff and tiny wooden crosses for the guys.

I heard the crosses referred to as "pocket crosses," so as soon as I got mine, I put it in my pocket. It's lived there for most of the week (when I've remembered it,) and it really helped me out today.

In addition to being a worship leader, I'm a songwriter. I love writing songs. I know a lot of folks don't get that jazzed about writing worship music, but it's my passion. In January, I released a CD of my songs. I hired a great producer, used amazing musicians, spent a lot of time on it, and I'm very proud of it.

But about a month ago, something weird happened. I started worrying about songwriting. I suddenly got really concerned that the stuff I'm writing now isn't nearly as good as the stuff on my record. I started worrying about "the next record" and whether or not folks would like it. I started worrying about how I'd approach these songs on the studio, which musicians I would use and what I could do to promote these new, unwritten songs on this yet-to-be-created album.

Ridiculous, right?

So, the other day, when I put my hands in my pocket, and felt that wooden cross, it was like the horrible, jarring ending to Somewhere In Time. The cross seemed to rush me back to reality.

And in that moment, I got a small glimpse of my place in the Kingdom. It was as if God said this:

You know, Todd? You're a part of my Kingdom. I've called you to serve me. You're stressing about writing songs that are "good enough?" You're worried about how your songs are going to spread around? What difference does it make whether or not you use your songs? Isn't your job to serve me, to obey me? You better start worrying more about making your life look like my Son and worry less about looking good.

I've called you. I've used you. Shut up and do the work.

Sometimes God tells me to shut up. You and He might now work that way, but He has to tell me that a lot. And every once in awhile, I listen.

I can't track down the Phantom Gifter and thank him or her for that little cross that reminded me to get my priorities right. But I can live my life a little better - I can stop being selfish and vain and do the Kingdom work God's called me to do. And I can love every minute of it.